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Articles on this Page
- 08/22/17--11:49: _Behold, Rojo Junior!
- 08/22/17--11:49: _Cynthia Nixon Was T...
- 08/22/17--11:49: _The Look Of Marital...
- 08/22/17--11:49: _In The Name Of All ...
- 08/31/13--15:19: _Open Post: Hosted B...
- 09/11/13--11:11: _The True Star Of NY...
- 03/25/14--20:50: _The NYDN Calls Nati...
- 05/04/14--16:25: _The Future Presiden...
- 10/04/14--13:34: _Jennifer Hudson Say...
- 06/12/17--14:21: _Open Post: Hosted B...
- 09/29/17--07:42: _Another “Sex And Th...
- 10/04/17--10:19: _Kim Cattrall Basica...
- 02/13/18--11:45: _Kim Cattrall May Ha...
- 02/27/18--13:30: _Some Think That Cyn...
- 03/06/18--14:11: _Cynthia Nixon Is La...
- 03/19/18--12:33: _Cynthia Nixon Has O...
- 03/22/18--14:30: _The “SATC” Cast Is ...
- 08/22/17--11:49: Behold, Rojo Junior!
- 08/22/17--11:49: Cynthia Nixon Was The Real Winner At The Tonys Last Night
- 08/22/17--11:49: The Look Of Marital Bliss
- 08/31/13--15:19: Open Post: Hosted By Mrs. And Mrs. Rojo Caliente
- 09/11/13--11:11: The True Star Of NYC Election Night
So that's why it's almost like summer in NYC. It's isn't from global warming (it's totally from global warming)! It's because the apparent heir to the American ginger throne, 1-year-old Max Ellington Nixon-Marinoni (Prince MEN-M) is heating up the sidewalks with the curly halo of flames on his head. No, Cynthia Nixon's hair didn't burn off from being that close to Max's short fro of sparks. Cynthia shaved it all off to do Wit on Broadway.
The rapture has been re-scheduled for a later date, because the world can't end now that a miniature Rojo is here. Prince Max saved us all!!! (See also: ginger babies are the best.)
Nina Arianda of 50 Shades of Venus Fur beat out Mrs. Rojo Caliente, Cynthia Nixon, for Best Lead Actress in a Play at last night's gay Super Bowl, but I'm pretty sure that a few hours later the full body orgasm she got from being named the greatest non-singing actress on Broadway faded away as she tucked that trophy into bed next to her. Nina stared deep into the doped up eyes of the scary face on the left on her trophy and knew that Cynthia was the real winner of the night since she got to tuck in ROJO CALIENTE!!!!
The reigning Queen and Queen of the ginger gayelles made their first public appearance at the TONYs since they resurrected the beaten horse known as the sanctity of marriage from the dead by becoming each other's wife three weeks ago. It makes the loins of my soul tingle knowing that after all these years together, the sight of Rojo looking dapper as a motherfucker in a Men's Warehouse tuxedo (from their debonair Hobbit collection) still makes Cynthia moist in the pits. The sign of true love IS creamy pits.
Now everyone in NYC knows why they have charbroiled nipples today (read: it was hotter than hell). The air caught fire when newlyweds Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente strut around NYC today. Cynthia Nixon has a look on her face that says she's over it, frustrated, about to stab choke a kitten with her bare teeth and hasn't had a peaceful bowel movement in days. That is the look on every married ho's face. It's the official look of a wife! Married life looks good on both of them, but really what doesn't? I mean, only Rojo Caliente can pull off a pair of Tommy Bahama shorts and Cynthia is melting the pavement with those Birkenstocks (aka the official footwear of the gayelles).
A little later, Cynthia was on the edge of going full Alec Baldwin on a cab driver when he refused to drive her. Once that NOT KNOWING cab driver realized that he had one of the ginger queens of the island before him, he opened up his yellow chariot and drove her to her palace. Who knew that seeing a slightly rage-filled Cynthia would put me through changes? I thought only Rojo had that effect on me.
I'm in L.A. and:
- It's only 7:15 in the morning and it's already so damn warm that I can run down the side of the freeway with nothing but ass lip mittens on.
- I'm so going to make french toast out of a Double Double and chutney out of off-ramp oranges for breakfast.
- And I've already been baptized as a born again citizen of Southern California by getting flipped off and called something that starts with an "f" (I'm thinking he called me a "funtabulous rascal," but I'm pretty sure he called me a "fucking asshole") when I tried to cut a Yaris off while driving out of the airport.
So, you'd think because of all of that I'd be spitting out smoggy rainbows of happiness. Well, I was until I saw these pictures that reminded me one very, VERY, very important thing: THERE'S NO ROJO CALIENTE IN LOS ANGELES! I was so blinded by the shine of weed cards and Jack In The Box dollar tacos that I completely forgot about this. Why didn't any of you bitches remind me! Sure, I can troll the aisles of some Home Depot, find a fat chola butchie and ask her to please put an orange Tupperware bowl on her head so I won't be so gingersick, but it won't be the same. WHAT HAVE I DONE? We have to go back, Kate! We have to go back to the island!
And these pictures of Cynthia Nixon, Rojo and Little Rojo Christ strolling around NYC were taken in the middle of the night. Yes, the curly rays of sun on Little Rojo Christ's head are that illuminating.
That moment when Cynthia Nixon once again realizes that she’s married to the human form of a sun’s ray Rojo Caliente. Every now and again her down low parts remind her that she gets spoon to with Rojo Caliente almost anytime she wants. It’s not only a natural reaction, it’s the only reaction. This is […]
No, I’m not talking about Bill de Blasio. Yeah, he came in first in the Democratic mayoral race and got over 40 percent of the votes, but none of that would have happened if he didn’t get an endorsement from the sun’s ambassador ROJO CALIENTE! During Bill de Blasio’s campaign for NYC mayor, Rojo Caliente and her […]
The NYDN really needs to check their lipstick before they start reporting highly important news. Referring to Rojo Caliente as “wife of Cynthia Nixon” is not the way you refer to the flaming torch of the five boroughs that spreads light all over NYC. Every news journal should refer to Rojo as “The sparkling ginger unicorn of […]
The White House Corespondents Dinner (aka the event that Sarah Palin rage watches on TV every year like a lonely 11th grader sitting all alone in her car parked in the lot of the prom she wasn’t invited to) happened in DC last night and it’s usually a real trash heap of an event filled […]
After Sex and the City Number Two was called out as a sequined dried turd by most critics and became a Razzie award winner, the show’s creator and the director of the movies Michael Patrick King said that they had one more bowel movement movie in them and I took that to mean that he […]
The 2017 Tonys had only one job to do and that was to give us Bette Midler yodeling out a song from Hello Dolly! That didn’t happen. Thirty five layers of NOT AMUSED swept across my face when I realized that the rumors about Bette not performing at the Tonys were true. The phones at CBS’ offices […]
Kim Cattrall just did the world a huge favor by single handedly putting the kibosh on Sex And The City 3. That’s right, you may never have to cringe your way through another SATC movie again! Daily Mail reports that Kim is totally being a Carrie by making it all about her. According to Daily […]
When the world heard that Sex And The City 3 wasn’t happening, mostly everyone loudly rejoiced, except for Kristin Davis, because bitch needs a check (same). Sarah Jessica Parker confirmed it was a no-go by vaguely saying it wasn’t happening while her eyes said, “IT’S ALL SAMANTHA’S FAULT!” Kim Cattrall has more to say about the situation, and let […]
Over the weekend, Kim Cattrall took a metaphorical flame thrower to any possible future working relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker by accusing her of fake condolences for her late brother Christopher Cattrall. But Kim doesn’t appear to hate everything about SATC. Sorry SJP, it’s just you. After Kim announced that her brother was found dead after […]
Anyone who is seen in a photo with Sarah Jessica Parker is in clear violation of the Samantha Summit, which dictates no friend of Kim Cattrall should ever seem remotely friendly with the hypocritical shoe saleswoman formerly known as Carrie Bradshaw. Or that’s probably what Kim is thinking after one of her ex-castmates shared pics […]
We found out last year that the idea of running for the governor of New York has been dancing inside of Cynthia Nixon’s head and that several people have told her to go for it. And in January, Cynthia moved the “rumor” closer to fact when she was asked if she was going to battle […]
Sarah Jessica Parker should go ahead and add, “Also looking for a neurotic ass ginger who looks good in a business suit,” to the casting ad she’s going to post on Backstage to find a new Samantha, because it doesn’t look like Miranda Hobbes will be available for that third Sex and the City turd […]
People still get their panties in a bunch anytime the non-Charlotte cast members of Sex And The City do something, and lately that was limited to hissing like alley cats at each other. None of them could stand it when Kim Cattrall saved the movie industry by putting the kibosh on Sex And The City […]